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Sunday, April 22, 2018

Why a Fish and a Bird cannot fall in love

Written by: Chikezie Onwumere

AFRICAN PROVERB: A fish and a bird may fall in love but the two cannot build a home together. 

Meaning and Interpretation

A fish and a bird may fall in love, but when it comes to building a home, the following dissenting dialogue MUST ensue:

FISH(Trying to persuade the BIRD): Come on, aquatic life is always the best. The river, streams and oceans are cool and secured. I have friends there, so many of them. You know Dolphins? They're very protective and friendly. They will like you...

BIRD(Cutting in, impatiently): No, no, no. I don't like rivers at all. Sometimes, I'm aquaphobic. Can't you see, trees, mountaintops and the sky are a haven. They are nice and adventurous places to live in. In fact, I will even teach you how to fly...

FISH(Annoyed): If I leave this water, I will be so uncomfortable that I may suffocate and die! Why can't you stay with me in my home? You know I love you, honey...

BIRD(Unflinching and angry at the same time): Love my foot! If you loved me, accept my own suggestion. It's the best. The best!
( The FISH sadly slithers back into the river and swims away, never to return again)


Love is a very complex phenomenon, yet perceived as simple by many. Love requires more than what the eyes can see. Yes, someone may fall in 'love' with another at first sight, but what proves whether the purported feeling is real love or just lust are time and circumstances. 

A man may see a lady with a curvy shape and nice complexion and concludes he loves her. Alas! Most times, time and circumstances prove that the man loves her body ( lust), and not her person( character). And this brings me to the main inherent theme in the proverb, which I will discuss in the subsequent paragraphs.

Listen, ladies and gentlemen in this wonderful platform, before you allow your love for someone to develop to the point of crossing the Rubicon( being irrevocably committed ), make sure your traits match. By this, I mean that you fall in love with someone that possesses at least ( though not all, because no one is perfect) most of what you desire in a life partner. Don't be shy to tell the man or the woman at the onset of the relationship what you like and dislike. 

By this, either of you will now know whether you can go ahead with the relationship or not. The problem with partners today is that they blindly fall in love, and rush into marriage without COURTSHIP! It is courtship that, at least, gives you time to learn each other and know whether both of you match. 

If you allowed your relationship to quickly drift into marriage, chances are that the marriage will crumble, because either party to it wants to build their separate homes! Separate homes, here, means bringing in each other's likes and trying to see which will supercede. If a man doesn't like a woman that fixes and paints her nails, why would he even bother dating and marrying such woman? Same way, if a woman doesn't like a man that drinks or talks a lot, why would she even accept to marry such person? 

This is why COURTSHIP is essential so that both parties have time to see if they are compatible!

Hence, compatibility in a relationship is the main hub of this proverb, and it is very practical. If you can't tolerate any fault or accept the hubbies of your prospective life partner, then, no need allowing the relationship to drift into a union of no-going-back.


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