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Sunday, May 07, 2017

What Men Need in A Relationship – Every Woman Should know

Written by: D unique Inienwa


We men have always said that women are the most complex creatures God has ever created. And some of us still hold this view. But when we hear women say that they do not understand us, we get shocked! Really?

We are the simplest creatures on the earth (you may choose not to agree though). Where you women have pages of things you expect of us, our list is quite simple. I mean very simple. Once you can understand what we want, you’ve struck gold.

And yes, don’t assume to know what we want. Know it instead.
When you do, you will be able to meet our needs. When you do, you will have made yourself too valuable to lose. So, here are eight things we really want in a relationship.

1. Be Independent:
If you ask an average Nigerian guy, he would put it very bluntly thus: “stop demanding for money!” A young man cannot be trying to build his future and you keep demanding money from him incessantly.

Nobody wants a leech. Be independent for yourself. Work with your own hands. Make your own money. Take care of yourself. Once you do, our attraction to you skyrockets. And when you become independent, you won’t need to beg us for money.

Ask any guy around, he will give anything to a woman that does not ask him. Yes, the less you ask, the more valuable you tend to become, and the more you will eventually receive from us.

2. Invest in the relationship:
When we want a relationship, we are not seeking to add another load to our burden, please. A woman who makes a man keep working in a relationship will soon lose him. The era of killing ourselves over a relationship is fast winding up.

Buy us gifts from your own money. Call us with your own airtime. Pamper us when you see the need to. You are not the only one that wants to feel loved in a relationship; men do too! We want to see that we are really in a relationship with someone and not with ourselves.

3. Be homely:
Men love beautiful women. But what is the advantage of a woman that is not homely? Or a woman that will fry plantains and serve us something that looks like coal? You visit your man’s house and notice it is ruffled; you complain about it but have never made an attempt to tidy it up.

No one is asking that you to perform all the roles of a wife, but we have to see that you can take care of a home. You think we want to return from work and see cobwebs everywhere? Be homely. Learn how to cook dishes rather than always pushing us to the eatery.

Learn how to keep a home.

4. Give us space:
Yes, we love you; but that does not mean we have to be together always. You need to hang out with your friends. But if you chose not to, don’t try to tie us around you. We don’t want a woman who will not give us space to breathe fresh air.

Understand this; you cannot stop us from watching football matches. You cannot stop us from having a guys’ timeout. A relationship is not a prison. In fact, if you want your market to sell with us, encourage us to go watch the games.

Come along if possible and do the shouting with us. You can even invite our friends over to play video games while you offer to make us snacks. That will be one of the most romantic things you can do. In fact, your wife material will just increase by 200 yards instantly.

5. Don’t even think about changing us:
Even our parents did not think about changing us. We love the way we are. If you know you are not happy with it, then you should never have said ‘yes’ to our proposal. If we love being indoors, don’t suddenly expect us to start going out.

If we love being silent for one hour a day, don’t even imagine that you can get us to stop that routine. We may have bad habits. Is that a new stuff? We may have flaws. Is that a strange something? When you agreed to be in a relationship with us, you were signing up for the full version of us.

So, just hold your peace and love us like that.

6. Be faithful:
While this goes both ways, it is one of the most important things we look out for. There are too many incidents of infidelity around. And it bothers us, especially if we are really interested in the relationship.

Does that mean we cannot trust you? Not at all. But don’t ever give us a reason to think you are being unfaithful. I will say in my own opinion that most relationships of today get broken because of cheating than anything else.

You don’t believe me? Read break up stories on Nairaland.
If you are sure it is a guy you want, then be true with him. If you are tired of the relationship, then walk away. It is called a ‘relationship’ not a ‘group meeting’.

7. Remain good looking:
We know the usual cliché: “it takes good looks to attract a man but character will keep him.” But never forget what that we are creatures of sight. Don’t assume that you can let your physical looks go just because we are in a relationship.

We want women that we can show off. Dress good. Watch your weight. Exercise if you need too. Some of us do not really fancy heavy makeup. Well, you have to know which your man is. But at all cost, please, keep looking good.

8. Support us:
You have no idea how many times a guy needs encouragement. Because you see us smiling always, you now assume all is rosy? We encounter a lot of challenges. We face plenty disappointments. The responsibility to be a man can be crushing.

It is real! Support us. If we are down, become our cheerleader. If things turn around negatively, stay with us. Motivate us. Let us know that you believe in us even when we do not believe in ourselves. Tell us you approve of us unconditionally. No need to nag or be contentious.

Instead, be our peace! Don’t be indifferent when you notice we are down. That will be a very bad idea.

So, there we have it! Is there anything complex about this list? Of course not! We hope you women can now get along with us easily.

Thank you for your cooperation.

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