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Wednesday, April 05, 2017

Parental Mistakes When Training the Girls and Boys

Written by: Don Chukwuebuka


PARENTING (GETTING THE WRONG THING RIGHT)

Parents who fail in parenting, fail because they feel that issues of great concern don't matter. Some parents condition girls to aspire to marriage and do not condition boys to aspire to marriage. They always make sure that the girl child is well trained and groomed for marriage.

But when it comes to the boy child they never train them on how to lead the family and be a responsible man. Believing that the girl will ever be submissive to the man and thus make the home habitable for the man when she exhibits her well-learned manners.

These type of parents see the male children as lords who are to be worshipped by their wives. They believe that the female child would not stay back to bear their name and thus are only good for marriage and thus needs proper grooming to enhance the possibility of early marriage as soon as the girl comes of age.

As a matter of fact, this becomes a chain reaction because the father that should have a role model and train the boy child was not well trained by his father too. His father neglected him and focused more on his sisters or sometimes on no one.

And when this boy child grows up and becomes a man, he then goes and marries one properly trained woman from another family. In addition, when the time comes for him to groom and model what true manhood is to his son and what it takes to be a good leader in the family he has nothing to give.

Now, with that, the woman is in trouble because of the foundation, which is the man she married, is faulty. And this will affect her proper implementation of what she has been thought all these while by her parents.

Moreover, the boy child from that family also grows up into a man and repeats the history. And this will continue to happen until one decides to rewrite the history which in most cases is very hard to come by. We always call the girl child to go to the kitchen and leave the boy child playing, watching movies, playing video game and lazing about.

Our mentality has made us believe that when we get the girl child right we have automatically gotten the boy child right in marriage. However, that is a wrong ideology. We have forgotten that the boy child will one day lead the girl child in the family.

And with that, there is already a terrible imbalance at the start. However, when this properly trained girl that has now grown into a woman gets married to such a man, then you would see the woman doing too many things the man ought to be doing.

And what he can only do is to domestically and emotionally abuse her. Why? Because that is what he thinks, being a man is. Time has come for us to balance the equation. When there is no balance in thought, there will be no balance in action and when there is no balance in action, there will be no balance in the result.

Time has come for us to pay as much attention we pay to the girl child also to the boy child. Because paying more attention to the girl child and less attention to the boy child is like a person standing with one leg and can be easily knock down. But when that person is standing with his two legs on the ground they stand strong.


We need to balance the training of our male and female children in other to balance their marriage. And when they are balanced in marriage the community is balance and when the community is balance the nation is balanced.

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