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Wednesday, January 04, 2017


Written by: Ekwegbalu Nnamdi

Isn't that ironical? You may be inclined to think.

Of course, you are convinced and certain that when people leave our lives it is not like we have a say in it, for most times they just go and walk away without recourse to us. I know you have found yourself many times in such situations where you tried so hard to make someone stay, but still, they left.

Now many of us have formed the impression that when people leave, they leave with bits of us. That suggests that we were created in bits/parts and that with each person who walks out of our lives is a bit/part of us that leaves or goes missing.

Following that thinking, you won't be surprised that some of us might have even finished by now without even knowing it, because we have had people "come and go" from our lives at will many times than we can actually recall.

We are humans, not inanimate objects, we were created whole and complete, and not in bits which are detachable at will at the discretion of another. The truth is that people can leave and still inhabit our hearts as unlawful tenants, and this is because we allow them to.

And this results from the perception and belief system we hold onto, many have come to see people in their lives as indispensable. However, we must understand that while people are life's great gift to us, life still programmes people in our lives to come in phases, hence they are not necessarily programmed to last forever, but to last as long as they still have a part/role to play in our lives.

Many today are still hurting deeply because they are still holding onto people who have left, thereby opening the door to grief, you find such people grieving over persons who are not even supposed to be there.

You must learn to acknowledge when people in your life have outlived their usefulness and played their role {either good or bad roles} perhaps it's time for them to exit the stage of your life. And when you struggle to keep them more than they have been programmed to stay/last, they would only bring you hurt and pain. It is like using products which have expired, it becomes inimical to your health and wellbeing.

The truth is, when we still hold onto such people we keep ourselves from accessing those new set of persons that life have brought our way to spice our lives with new flavors, those whose phase it is. We must allow people who have left to go, for life is not "Helping Hands."

And this can only be achieved consciously, and can only be done by you alone. Know this, every person who left us created the opportunity for a better person to come in. For when, one door closes a better one is thrown open, but many most times are consumed by the closed door that they don't notice the open ones.

You must learn to see those open doors, don't get stuck at the old door, except you don't want to move on in life, life is a sweet song you must learn to open yourself to the beauty and opportunities inherent in life and not place limitations on yourself.

Worse still is for those of us who judge or treat others based on our previous unfavourable life experience, now we hold them liable for the crime of others and we expect them to pay heavily for the damage done by someone else. That is totally unacceptable, everybody deserves a chance to prove themselves, no matter how many times we have been hurt we must learn to trust and believe again.

Learn to give every man a measure of faith and trust, Learn to believe the best in others no matter what. Don't get me wrong I am not advocating for stupidity, I am also not saying we should trust people blindly.

What I am saying is that we must learn to give people an equal chance to prove themselves, you must grant them a measure of trust, express faith in them. Remember it might have been their choice to leave, but it's ultimately your decision to let them go and by so doing set yourself free. Your life gets better by choice, not by chance, you must never allow people to interfere with your happiness in life.

A final word, what you believe is what life ultimately dishes out to you, when you believe rightly, you will draw to yourself the same. You must consciously choose to believe the right things, don't define your life by those that left.

Hence when people leave, let them go! Don't complicate your life by yourself. 

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