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Friday, January 06, 2017

The Promise of Marriage – Most Effective Bait for Our Young Ladies

Written by: Ekwegbalu Nnamdi


As a child I had always wondered what was the right food to boost brain power, I had seen movies of child genius’ who could do incredible things with their brains and I wanted to be like that, I wanted to be incredibly smart and I wanted to be revered by my peers and teachers.

As I searched for this magic food or substance I could take, one particular discovery surprised me, and that discovery was Fish…yes, Fish. It was listed that Salmon, mackerel, tuna, and other fish are rich in heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids, including docosahexaenoic acid (DHA), hence it is a brain-food.

This surprised me so much because I had often wondered, how since mankind started fishing, they had always utilised the same trick in fishing, time and time again. This trick was simply to use a bait which involved using a hook and worm. I had often wondered as a child why the aquatic habitats are yet to have mastered this trick effectively.

I expected it should have been integrated into their curriculum or whatever is their means of socialisation down there, or better still they should have mounted a sign post by now, powered by “The Association of Concerned fishes” which should read;

“Beware of the Bait of the fishermen” or “Say No to Kidnap by the Hook” {you can’t help but admire my childhood imagination am sure you had similar indulgence yourself}

Yet centuries later, we could still use the same trick on fishes, yet these scientists want me to believe that eating this same “dumb fishes” would boost my brain power…Amazing!

Now as a grown-up {at least I could call myself that now} being in my early twenties, and my parents would often remind me that my mates in the North region of Nigeria are married with children.

I’ve however noticed another trend, this time it doesn’t apply to fishes but surprisingly it applies to our young girls, especially the undergraduates.

I was talking with a 19-year-old girl just recently, a student of my university and she told me she was in a “Serious” relationship, with a 34-year-old working-class man, who intends to marry her. My mouth was wide agape…I thought to myself “in this 21st century?

She even went further to tell me that she really really loves this man, and that she is sure he loves her too, just that her parents won’t allow her to get married just yet {I was even surprised, she had that much sense} she ended by saying with a naive smile on her face that “he said he would wait for me till I am ready.”

“He is a very busy man” She continued, “he doesn’t really call often, but I go to his Place on weekends to cook for him and help him do the work around the house”

At this point, I wanted to ask her, “Are you a fish?”
I have also heard a similar story of a young girl who was in the same “Fish-Situation” but who had also gotten pregnant for this her man-friend {am sure boyfriend does not cover such cases?} and had carried out an abortion because he wasn’t ready yet.

Let me not even begin to mention those of our young girls who swallow Postinor2 on daily basis like their very existence depended on it, or like it was some sort of multivitamin {No wonder people like me and Martin Beck Nworah are yet to find a suitable girlfriend, because all our potential girlfriends have been baited with a hook and worm like a fish}

The other day I was seated with a group of friends at Lounge24 Bar, Temp Site Awka. These men included Lawyers, Doctors, Contractors, Politicians, from one special adviser (SA) to the other, even those whose portfolio I considered complicated, because some were SA to an SA of the SA to the Governor {but all na political appointment shaa} most of them were in their early 30’s, men who marriage was still not in their dictionary any time soon.

As they were having their beer and I was enjoying my yoghurt, amongst several things they discussed, which included how “Unizik girl’s no dey take eye see car, as far as you are mobile they must follow, even if na Keke you dey drive.”

They talked about the new magic word that is very potent in its effect on most undergraduate girls, this word is “marriage” …

As they discussed, I realised that most men have learnt to work on the psychology of girls, because even a 19-year-old these days, is looking for a “serious relationship”, even some who are yet to learn how to cook well or do anything by themselves.
Worst still are those who are yet to learn to take their studies seriously, but want something “serious”.

Then I remembered the lesson I had learnt about fishes, it made me wonder how human beings could let themselves become that way too.
I know just like the bait which has worked on the fishes since time immemorial, that this bait on our young girls would continue to work.

But permit me to ask you these seven questions, my dear young ladies;

1. Are you a fish?

2. Have you known yourself enough to want to get into the life of another person?

3. How much value have you brought into your own father’s house to want to start a home of your own?

4. Do you not realise you have the rest of your life to be married, why rush into it now?

5. So you want to live with someone for the rest of your life, but you cannot have patience enough to get a degree first?

6. If he says he wants to marry you but knows your parents would not agree, why is he asking you to play the wife’s role now, knowing fully well he hasn’t paid your bride price?

7. Why are you playing yourself cheap, don’t you know that before a man would have the courage to set the ball of marriage rolling, he must have enough money in his account, ranging into millions?

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