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Friday, January 06, 2017


Written by: Ekwegbalu Nnamdi

Today however, I wish to write to my fellow young unmarried men, many who like me have loved and lost, many who have had their hopes dashed and their hearts shattered, who have also come to acknowledge like myself that love is really a very interesting phenomenon, as well as the very concept of marriage.

Just very recently I found myself in a certain marriage ceremony which truly humbled me, that was how I truly came to terms with the fact that there is more to love than meets the eye. Permit me to briefly narrate the trend of what looks like most of our love stories; Firstly, is that you meet a girl then fall woefully in love with her at your own expense, then you start ravishing your little life savings on her, gotten from your meagre income for those of us who even have one in the first place, thereby taking it upon yourself to be an interim caretaker to someone's daughter or wife, an unsolicited service which may not as much as result to an ordinary thank you eventually from any of the parties.

Then the second scenario finds you in her traditional marriage, which of course depends on whether you were even informed in the first place, there you find yourself at the very back struggling to get a glimpse as your one-time girlfriend dances past you to the tune of Flavour's Ada Ada completely oblivious of your presence, you try so hard not to make eye contact with her thereby gulping down the hot coke you struggled so hard to secure from the drinks placed before her kinsmen. What a pity!

Then you eventually look at the man who she ended up with, one money miss road from Malaysia or South Africa, a young man who have picked enough money in just a space of few weeks, enough to make nonsense of your years of hard work and efforts, at which point you can't help but feel sorry for yourself. All of a sudden you realize that love is a great risk and not some game for boys.

Allow me to point out these facts to you, before you run to profess heaven and earth to that beautiful damsel and risk your sanity and peace of mind. Have you even counted the cost? You may eventually succeed in getting her to catch feelings for you, and confess that you are her oxygen and that without you, she would rather die. 

Before she vows to love you till forever runs out of days, my brother, have you priced Baby Diapers in the market or even baby milk, do you know the current prize of pregnancy care? Can you put up with her eating habits when she must have taken in?

My friend these things are not gotten with sweet tongue or romantic eyes, you can't fund a wedding on an empty pocket or some wishful thinking. Love does not pay the bills!
I know she is so beautiful that you can imagine there to be only one of her kind, she is a limited edition, so now you have got to have her by all means in an empty pocket and plenty words, she has got to be yours alone.

You really should ask yourself these pertinent questions;
Can I really take care of her upkeep?
Can I comfortably foot her bills?

My friend, you should know that "good soup na money make am." If you can't maintain her, trust me these girls are very costly to maintain, better don't get her to rust in your care, for love does not pay the bills!

If you truly love a girl first find out amongst others things her life plan. That is when exactly does marriage feature in it? If it does not tally with yours do yourself a favour and move on. I wouldn't even begin to talk about girls whose parents live in a two-room rented apartment but who live like they own mansions. And you say that is the girl you are in love with and wish to marry? My brother, I can hear the angels beckoning you home to your great abode.

I know she loves you so much that she has promised to wait for you, but my friend you shouldn't be that selfish to turn somebody's daughter into a perpetual waiter, and by the time she realizes what has happened to her, years must have passed and you are yet to find your footing in life. Sadly by then all the reasonable suitors that came for her in her prime must have all found suitable brides. 

Let me say it again bro, Love does not pay the bills!

That small money you have managed to save should be used to develop yourself. Learn to invest your resources on yourself primarily, make yourself a priority. I assure you, at the end, you are all you have got left, the only person you can count on to be there until the end, is you and you alone.

Yes, she may call you selfish, yes she may call you a broke-ass nigger, don't forget human beings are programmed to forget easily the goods things that were done for them, don't be surprised that she will forget those times you spent your last card on her just to make her happy.

But honestly, what is your ten thousand to be compared with a G-Guy who comfortably spends 7.4 million on drinks in a night club in just one night? These guys get their alerts in millions, by the time he jams that your so called girlfriend she would confess that truly money is good. My brother, you should know that every shoe has its size and do not die by your own hands or consciously drive yourself to an early grave. 

Remember love does not pay the bills!

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