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Monday, November 21, 2016

Reasons Why People Become Victims In Relationship

Written by: Adeniyi Tim Oluwamayowa

Rebecca was so much in love with Jason while they were in college. Their relationship was the talk of the town because they were bright students. Many ladies were vying to have Jason as their boyfriend because he was friendly, brilliant and soft spoken.

Rebecca, knew this and was advised to have sex with Jason so that she can forever secure his love… Coincidentally, Jason told Rebecca to prove her love to him by giving him sex. After much persistence, she agreed and gives him sex whenever he wants.

In the long run, she noticed some attitudinal change in Jason...
Jason put up a little quarrel and the relationship ended on a sad note. Here is Rebecca, heartbroken, hurt, emotionally traumatized and disappointed. She became a victim in her relationship. Who is to be blamed?

It is very sad to hear stories like this happening in relationship. The news of abortion, divorce, separation, unwanted pregnancy, fornication, adultery are no longer new to us because it is now a common situation in many relationship and gossiped in entertainment news.

Aside the fact that people go into relationship without adequate preparation, there has been more victims and casualties. No gender is spared from this menace. With this concern in my mind, I took time to think over the causes of these issues and I came up with some points that could prevent you and I from becoming a victim.

However, a victim is a person that has been hurt, suffered or wounded by someone's action or theirs. It is bad that victims in relationship would suffer from regrets, pain and a bitter memory to live with due to the consequence of their action or others. Being a victim often leaves a person with scars if he/she was able to be healed in the long run.

Victims suffer from loss of energy, resources, time, effort, emotional pain and scars. However, many people become victims due to the following reasons -

Many people gets destroyed for lack of understanding. The information you have gives you an understanding when you make use of it. When you understand the consequences of an action, it will prevent you from taking such action.

For instance, from the story above, if Rebecca knew that having sex with Jason who is not her husband could cause her pain in the long run, she wouldn't have done it. Before you make any choice or decisions in life, understand the implication of it before you succumb.

It might be okay to keep boy/girlfriend when the motive is not to satisfy sexual urge. Lots of people become victims because they fail to define their relationship. What you don't define cannot be refined. No perfect relationship started from the scratch, it was built by two committed people. 

Define your relationship: is it friendship or leading to marriage? There are boundaries in each relationship, establish yours. When a relationship is not defined, its purpose will be abused and one party will face the consequence.

Problems are bound to occur when people often make decisions without examining the present circumstance surrounding it. For instance, thinking that a man that beats a woman to pulp will change when he gets married is like building castle in the air.

Also, nothing stops a cheating partner while you are courting to change when you get married. You need to think clearly and use your sixth sense rather than feelings when making choices that would have an effect on you in the future. No relationship failed to show warning signals to those who are sensitive enough to identify it.

Love can bear all things but not to live with a "cheater" or a "beater" or an infidel. Seek advice. Don't think you know it all about relationship issues. There are people who have gone into relationship before you ever dreamt of starting yours. You can confide in them before making any decision or choices.

Temptation is a normal occurrence which people experience in life. Joseph was tempted to commit immorality with his master's wife. Jesus Christ too was tempted to bow to the devil. 
However, they did not yield because of its consequence.

Temptation is a desire to have what you are not meant to have or do. It is when you yield that it becomes abnormal. Any decision made to compromise when you are tempted would have regrettable consequence. Until the wedding night, you are not allowed to have sex. This is why many teenagers or youths became victims of premarital sex.

Though it looks related to temptation but it differ in the sense that someone else would persuade another to do want they don't want to do. Persuasion can lead you to do what you are not supposed to. It was Delilah's persuasive attempt that made Samson yield to her plea.

It is better to walk away than to be persuaded. Relationship is a journey you undertake with your partner and you may often not get to its final destination. Not all relationship leads to marriage. A failed relationship is better than a broken marriage.

To avoid becoming a victim of a failed relationship or a broken marriage and its consequences;
I. You must understand the consequences of any actions you'd take.

II. Your relationship must be well defined so as to know its purpose so that you don't become abused.

III. Avoid making decisions that you are not hundred percent sure of.

IV. The best way to overcome temptation when you know that you are not strong enough to handle it is to flee.

V. Don't let anyone mount pressure on you to do what is against your will, spiritual belief or values. When you adhere to these, you will prevent yourself from becoming victims of relationship issues.

Above all, commit your relationship to God.

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