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We all know
how important intelligence is in life.
However, if
you want to be successful in your career, just being a smart cookie will only
get you so far.
Your
emotional intelligence (also called EQ and EI) can also be an important factor
in your success.
But how can
you tell if you're self-aware enough to recognize and respond to emotions (your
own and those of the people around you)?
Well, here
are five subtle signs that your emotional intelligence is strong, even if it
doesn't feel like it:
1. You say
'sorry'
Yes, we all
know the dangers of saying "sorry" too much. After a while, the word
loses its meaning.
However, if
you're a person who can muster up a genuine apology when you've done wrong,
that's a sure sign of emotional intelligence, according to "Hiring for
Attitude" author Mark Murray writing in Forbes.
2. You
question yourself
Questioning
yourself probably doesn't sound like a great trait. Confidence is key, right?
Well, there's a difference between overwhelming self-doubt and self-reflection.
As Justin Barro wrote for Inc., it's important to hone your emotional
intelligence by asking yourself whether or not certain things need to be said.
These questions shouldn't make you doubt yourself, they should simply boost
your self-awareness.
3. You never
sugarcoat
This one
sounds a bit counterintuitive. Isn't emotional intelligence all about making
other people feel good? Well, no. Not really.
As Murray
writes for Forbes, "Emotional intelligence requires recognizing emotions
in others, but this other awareness doesn't mean shying away from speaking the
truth or using tricks to try and soften the blow of tough feedback. People with
emotional intelligence know how important it is that tough messages get
heard."
4. You've
gone to therapy
According to
Sarah Fader writing for Psych Central, attending sessions with a good therapist
will allow you to become better in-tune with your emotions. This, in turn, will
equip you to better recognize those emotions in others.
5. You're
not just a happy person
There's a
lot of misinformation out there about emotional intelligence. As Dr. John D.
Mayer writes for Psychology Today, "...journalistic accounts of EI often
have equated it to other personality traits. Emotional intelligence, however,
is not agreeableness. It is not optimism. It is not happiness. It is not calmness.
It is not motivation."
It's simply
being able to manage your own and others' emotions.
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