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Saturday, November 19, 2016

And All These While...

Written by: Muoka Chibuzor
First written on 11th September 2014.

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Just yesterday, I discovered
I had been wasting my time.
And all these while…
It was a game played by the blind,
And I had all these while tried,
To invest my all in it.

She couldn’t show me
That she loved me,
She couldn’t show me
That she cared.
And all these while…
I had been deceiving myself unknowingly,
Thinking I could make her love me.

My heart was crushed,
My reasoning was impaired,
When I discovered all these!
My days of trying to make her a believer
Was gone.
And all these while…
I was thinking I could make her
Change her mind.

Oh God of love, peace and mercy!
Why all these suffering?
If she loved me, why should she go on and on,
Day after day,
Giving me false hope?
And all these while…
I was building castles in the thin air,
And she was digging fast to my pockets!
An inerasable act of foolishness.

If only she could be,
All I ever wanted, I wouldn’t mind
Going to hell with her,
If only she was transparent,
I wouldn’t mind sharing my soul with her.
And all these while…
The reality was encompassed with lies
Of enormous magnitudes,
Deception and agonies of unfulfilled hope.

Love me and I love you,
Show me and I show you,
Care for me and I care for you,
All symbiotic and reciprocal.
And all these while…
I lost all these from her,
And that’s what hunted me as I laid down to sleep.

The only reality is to let her go!
Because this kind of life has no meaning at all.

Views of the writer:
The writer of the poem “And all these while…” is trying to express a feeling of disappointment by a supposed lover. He tells a story of how he loved this particular lady, who never loved back in return but rather decided to take undue advantage of his loving and kind gestures.

He lets out a shrieking cry when he discovers the untold truth about his love fantasies. This could been seen when the writer says - Deception and agonies of unfulfilled hope.

Finally, he called it a quit and decided to move on with life - The only reality is to let her go! Because this kind of life has no meaning at all.

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