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Wednesday, November 23, 2016

A Wedding Night with Known Sex

Written by: Mayowa Adeniyi

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Tade and Ogidan had been in a relationship for years before they eventually tied the knot last weekend. Their relationship was fun all the way as it was centered on romantic displays, picnics and sex wasn't an 'abomination'.

For most weekends, Tade usually visit Ogidan in his house where she'd cook, launder his dirty clothes, keep his house and play the role of a wife in bed. They never for once see it as a taboo because everyone is doing it and the society made them believe nothing is wrong with it.

How would I know if we were sexually compatible? How will I know if she can cook, Ogidan asked sarcastically? They were both Christians who belonged to a popular church but they do not believe in the words of Christ.

Tade too lived with the philosophy of knowing how fertile her would-be husband must be and she can't settle for an amateur or an impotent. And they continued with premarital sex until the eve of their wedding day.

Fast forward.

After entertaining guests, friends and families, they retired into their hotel room at night. Tade and Ogidan weren't looking forward to their wedding night because they have known themselves. It wasn't a night anticipated for. She was only expecting to be married to him and become his 'full' wife.

Several nights after their wedding, their sex life wasn't anything adventurous or memorable. In Ogidan's mind, he's used to her sexually and she doesn't give him wild sexual styles as he use to have it with Patience in those good old days.

Their sex life was dull, unadventurous and they were both tied to their past sexual life experiences. This later created a crack in their marriage for emotional infidelity, cheating and adultery. Marriage isn't all about a sexually fulfilled life but it has more to do with sex.

Adam did not knew his wife at the instance when God brought her to him, it was after he had given her a name and they began to live as one.
Do you know that there are many dangers in premarital sex than the pleasure inherent in it?

What are these dangers?
1. There's no deepening of sexual bond. What's in a bond when there's no binding element of purity, trust and the fear of God as sex is consummated? The society won't tell you this!

2. There's room for comparison, you'd rate his or her performance with the kind of experience you have had in the past. When it comes to sex in marriage, experience isn't the best teacher. It's better to learn together and be experienced than to have an outside and destructive exposure that would tempt you out of your marital faithfulness.

3. You two will not be naked and ashamed because you have nothing to cover and you're use to each other. This would make sex unfulfilling.

4. Oneness can't occur when you have shared intimacy with several partners in the past. There's a fragmented soul which has been tied to other partners, expect it is prayerfully broken. Just as Ogidan thought, premarital sex will make you wish you're having sex with a more experienced partner.

5. Your marriage bed is defiled already and you stand to receive God's judgment (Heb. 13:4). The wedding night, if sex would be done ought to be a night of bliss, adventure and fun. A night when two novice are coming together to consummate their union. A night where there's no shame or being afraid to be 'naked' to a new experience.

A night where each other's body is well appreciated and the grace to remain celibate is acknowledged before God.

Why would you choose to make your marriage a union of fornicators who would incur God's wrath? Why would you 'eat' the icing on the cake when everything belongs to you someday?

Why would you bow to pressure and temptation to engage in premarital sex? When you can say No and mean it.

Anyone who keeps asking for sex before marriage isn't truly yours or God's gift to you. God doesn't give a thing that would violate His word and principles but the devil does to pervert God's will. Have you lost your sexual purity in the past? 
Seek not to destroy yourself more by giving up or listening to the devil's advice. It's still worth keeping.

God will give you a new life if you choose to repent and forsake that wicked practices of premarital sex. You're His image. You're His temple. He bought you with a price and you're meant to glorify Him, not your boyfriend or girlfriend, fiancé or fiancée with your body.

You can't attract God's blessings in life when you violate His commandments (of sexual purity). I know He's merciful and forgiving but His kindness doesn't take away the consequences of your sin. I also know it's not easy to remain celibate but it's possible and easily done when you're closer to God than to be dining with the devil and be asking for grace.

- Flee fornication and youthful lust!
- Say NO to premarital sex!
- Say YES to abstinence until marriage!

It is possible! Let it begin with you and encourage a soul out there!

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