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Thursday, October 20, 2016

Ways to Strengthen Commitment in Marriage

Written by: Awake

Modified by - RCB editors

Commitment literally means the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.
It signifies - dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity, bond, adherence, attentiveness.

Commitment is the solution, not the problem. Many people today are skeptical of commitment. Some would compare commitment to a ball and chain that shackles you to a bad decision. Instead think of it as an anchor that can keep your marriage steady. 

A wife named Megan says, “During conflict, one of the best thing about commitment is knowing that neither you nor your spouse is leaving.”
Having confidence that the marriage itself is secure – even when certain aspects of it are in turmoil – can give you a foundation from which to resolve your problems.

Commitment and Loyalty.
If you and your mate are loyal to each other, you enjoy a sense of permanence about your union. When you think about the months, years, and decades ahead, you see yourselves together in the picture. The thought of being married to each other is utterly foreign, and this outlook brings security to your relationship.

One wife says:
‘Even when I’m maddest at [my husband] and I’m most upset about what is happening to us, I’m not worrying about our marriage coming to an end. I’m worried about how we are going to get back to where we were.'

What you can do

1. Examine your view:
“Married for Life. “ Does that phrase make you feel trapped, or does it make you feel secure? When problems arise, does leaving always loom on the horizon as a viable option? To strengthen your commitment, it is essential that you view marriage as a permanent Union.

2. Examine your history:
Your view of commitment might be influenced by what you observed in your parents. “My parents divorced when I was growing up,” says a wife named Lea, “and I worry that their experience may have left me with a negative commitment. “Be assured that you can make things different in your own marriage. You are not doomed to repeat your parents’ mistakes!

3. Examine your speech:
In the heat of a disagreement with your spouse, refrain from saying things that you will later regret, such as “I’m going to find someone who appreciates me!” Such statements undermine commitment, and rather than address the issue at hand, they merely involve the two of you in an onslaught of insults. Instead of using hurtful speech, you might say something like this:
“Obviously, we’re both upset. How can we work together to resolve this problem?”

4. Send out clear commitment signals:
Keep photo of your spouse on your desk at work. Talk positively about your marriage to others. Make it a goal to call your spouse each day while you are away. Frequently talk about “we,” and phrases such as “my wife and I” or “my husband and I.” By such actions, you will emphasize to others – and yourself – that you are committed to your spouse.

5. Find healthy role models:
Look to mature couples who have weathered marital problems successfully. Ask them, “What does commitment mean to you, and how has it helped you in your marriage?” the good book says: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens his friend.” – Proverbs 27:17.
With that principle in mind, why not benefit from the advice of those who have made their marriage a success?

"Our God is still changing lives, and will be the source of your strength as you embrace commitment – Muoka Chibuzor"

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