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Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Should a Young Man have a Girlfriend or patronize Prostitutes?

Written by: Muoka Chibuzor Bsc

Contributors: Okezie Andrew Bsc, Ndukwe Chisom, Okezie Izuchukwu, Onwuasoanya Jonathan.


Choice is a free world. In which people decide on what to do with their life at any given point in time, thus choice is literally a synonym to freedom. Sometimes Good people make bad choices, and it doesn’t mean they are bad. It simply means they are human. But making the right choice is primordial, indispensable and paramount.

Men right from time immemorial have always portrayed and exhibited their polygamous nature. Having more than one woman, always rings an alarm in their sit of reasoning. Especially with the ideology that all women are not actually the same, when it comes to appearance, behavior, sexiness, appeal and exclusive contents.

Men mostly believe that variety is the spice of life, but not until religion interfered.
Few prominent religions supports monogamy. Especially Christianity that views having more than one wife (polygamy) as unacceptable and declares any sexual exploration (affair) within or outside marital union as adultery and fornication respectively. Prostitution is an abomination in the Christian community.

But today, so many things have changed and major issues are now taken lightly and even considered an option (solution) for a problem. When the going seems to be getting tough.

The youths (men) of today, usually find themselves in deep thoughts of whether to have a girlfriend, to patronize the prostitutes or wait till they get married. They often ask themselves and friends this delicate question, depending in the situation they found themselves at the moment. 

Some men supports girl friendship, while others distastes it and antagonize their fellow men by patronizing the prostitutes and seeking for its legalization. Others prefer marriage, or venture into celibacy.

For some reasons they have believed to be genuine and credible, they strongly believe that their opinions are the best irrespective of what others think! (The power of Choice)

Now for clarity purposes, let’s look at the concept GIRLFRIENDSHIP
Who is a Girlfriend?
According to the Oxford Advanced learner’s dictionary 3rd edition - 2010.
“A girlfriend is a girl or young woman with whom a man is romantically or sexually involved with.”

Although the term girlfriend can also mean any female friend, it means different things to different people. The term "girlfriend" does not necessarily imply a sexual relationship, but is often used to refer to a girl or woman who is dating a person she is not engaged to without indicating whether she is having sex with him.
The Ideal Girlfriend
In this article, the term “girlfriend” is seen as a girl or young woman with whom a man is romantically or sexually involved with.
This definition tells us that when a man decides to have a girlfriend, he often puts into consideration his sexual life. Men can as well have numerous girlfriends due to their polygamous nature.

Now for clarity purposes, let’s look at the concept PROSTITUTES
Who is a Prostitute?
According to the Oxford Advanced learner’s dictionary 3rd edition - 2010.
“A prostitute is simply a girl or woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money. “ They actually sell their body in exchange for money and material possessions. -  Harlots, whore, loose women.
The Prostitute
Having looked at this pragmatic concepts - Girlfriend and Prostitute, most men for various reasons prefer one than the other and some prefer none, for reasons best known to them.
Now let’s look at the advantages and disadvantages of having a girlfriend or patronizing the prostitutes.

Few advantages why some men decide to have a Girlfriend.
1. Some men want to learn more about women’s sophisticated nature. To be able to understand them better.
2. Some men believe that having a girlfriend is the fastest ticket to having a bed mate.
3. Some men believe that one girlfriends minimizes the risks of exposure to Sexually Transmitted diseases and infections. Provided that she is faithful, of which they must ensure. (Possibility very slim)
4. Some men want companionship in bachelorhood.
5. Some men want assistance in various areas including financially, house chores, food preparations etc.
6. Some men believe that a girlfriend is more acceptable and presentable to friends and family, unlike a prostitute who may not receive a warm welcome.
7. Most men believe that girlfriends are usually a potential soul mate, a potential wife and mother of future kids.

Few advantages why some men decide to patronize Prostitutes.
1. Some men believe that having a girlfriend can incur unnecessary expenses, thus maintaining a girlfriend is expensive when compared to casual prostitutes who they pay off and that’s the end. No strings attached.
2. There will be no need to worry about unwanted pregnancy issues, because the prostitutes are acquainted with the rules of the game. Prostitutes are presumed to be experts in abortion ethics.
3. They are not obliged to fall in love, think about or marry them.
4. Some men believe that patronizing prostitutes help to reduce the rate of rape, for individuals who are sex addicts.
5. Some men believe, prostitutes are usually wild and mysterious in sexual capabilities due to years of experience. Unlike the naive girlfriend.
6. Ease of Sexual gratification.  The customer wants sex, the prostitute wants money, no beating around the bush.

 Few disadvantages why some men decide not to have a girlfriend.
1. Girlfriends tend to cling so tight to their boyfriends, which can cause discomfort to the man in question.
2. Sometimes they might nag and demand for gifts and money as a proof of love and affection from the man.
3. Sex denial is inevitable, once a problem arises no matter how small it is. Both parties must address the issue before anything else.
4. Pre – marital sex with girlfriend can lead to unwanted pregnancy and can as well alienate one from God.
5. They can decide to falsely accuse one of being responsible for a pregnancy, and this can tarnish the image and reputation of the man.
6. Girlfriends can dig up secrets concerning a man, due to the mostly long duration of time being spent with them. On breakup such secrets can be divulged.
7. Girlfriends can become a huge distractions for young ambitious men. Stories of students who failed because their girlfriends visited them a night to exams, is not farfetched.
8. An unfaithful girlfriend can infect his boyfriend with sexually transmitted diseases and infections, and vice versa.

 Few disadvantages why some men decide not to patronize prostitutes.
1. Prostitutes can harm the man on any breach of agreement, between them.
2. They can infect the man with sexually transmitted diseases and infections due to the numerous and uncountable customers they attend to.
3. Prostitutes can lead to the downfall of young ambitious men due to distractions, sexual addiction and money spent. And also alienation from God.
4. Prostitutes seldom give their customers helpful advices.
5. Prostitutes may be involved or affiliated with illegal deals, occultic/satanic associations, armed robbers, and unhealthy lifestyles so as to live up to their expectations.
6. Patronizing prostitutes can become unstoppable even in marriage due to addiction. Just like drug addiction, one can become addicted to sleeping with harlots.

The above assessment of the benefits and detrimental effects of having a girlfriend or prostitute were purely based on peoples opinions – in which atoms of truths breathe.

The irony of this situation is that most young men at some point, decide on which path to go, while a few remain neutral.
Both has merits and demerits, and so its highly advised that we weigh our choices on the scale of morality before agreeing to live with the risks associated to the choice we made.

Purely from a moral stand point of every ideal society, patronizing prostitutes is not advisable, thus seriously minded individuals should not attempt such, for the safety of life and preservation of self-dignity.

Having a girlfriend is not bad, but when weighed on the scale of morality, its best advised to have a female friend instead of a girlfriend due to individual differences and risks associated. When one is not yet ready to settle down.
A female friend in this context means a casual friend.

Conclusion on moral bases.
1. Avoid patronizing prostitutes.
2. Have a female friend, but be very careful when you extend the relationship to include intimacy, thereby making her your girlfriend.
3. If you can’t abstain and wait till you get married, ensure you take preventive measures. (This does not apply to prostitute patronizing but to having a girlfriend)
4. Hebrews 13:4 King James Version (KJV) - Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Finally, we have succeeded in highlighting salient points related to whether to have a girlfriend or patronize Harlots, the ball is now in your court… dear reader.

Will you have a girlfriend?
Will you patronize prostitutes?
Will you abstain and wait till marriage?
Will you go into celibacy?
The choice is now yours to make.

Note – “You are free to make your choice but you are not free to choose the consequences.”

The Risk Graph  - Comparing the risks associated with having a girlfriend, patronizing the prostitutes and total abstinence.
The Risk Graph - Girlfriend vs Harlot vs Abstinence

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