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Sunday, October 16, 2016

How Defined Is Your Relationship?

Written by: Akas Baba

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Ali and Amina were course mates and fellowship members in the University. As a result, they were very close, always doing things together daily. Amina misconstrued this as being in a relationship. Ali, on his own, was enjoying the friendship and was prepared to do anything for Amina, who did not hesitate to expose her past and future to him.

But she never observed that Ali never told her about his own life. All brothers that desired to marry Amina thought she was already engaged to Ali. After schooling, they were both posted to the North for service. As a result, they both exchanged regular visits. After service, they returned to Lagos and got good employment.

Six months later, Ali sent his wedding invitation card to Amina, who was so affected that it landed her in the hospital. When Ali was queried, he said he never thought of marrying her as he was already engaged before meeting her. He concluded that he only saw her like his younger sister and nothing more.

When Amina was confronted with the fact that Ali never proposed marriage to her, she was dazed. It was then she realized her folly.

This is very common among youths.

They assume about relationship most of the time, thereby setting up themselves for great disappointment. The danger is, everybody will assume you are engaged while you are hoping the brother is taking his time and will propose soonest.

Defining your relationship, primarily means discovering the essence of that relationship you have decided to involve in. what’s the direction? When you use the compass of relationship. Is it North, South, East or West? How do we go about it? What is the expectancies in the relationship? And so on.

Few Tips on what defining a relationship entails.

1. As a lady, define all your relationships. If a brother is becoming too close without disclosing his intention, ask him what he wants from you.

2. Don't be too close to any brother to the point that people will start to insinuate.

3. Never allow a brother propose with proverbs or idioms to you. Pretend as if you don't know what he is saying until he comes straight. For example, if he says, "Let me be the umbrella on your head", tell him, "I am not in the sun and I do not need an umbrella".

4. Avoid cooking for brothers unnecessarily. Most brothers love food and will do anything to keep the source of their good food, even if it means pretending they are in love.

5. Do not help a brother by proposing for him. ANY BROTHER THAT IS NOT BOLD ENOUGH TO PROPOSE TO YOU IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR HUSBAND. Brothers should be bold to propose simply, concisely and directly without proverbs or idioms.

6. The Guys should Get a direct "YES" or "NO" from a lady; do not assume or say "May Be… Because such conclusions are usually dangerous.

Finally, Prevention is better than Cure. Lets wear our thinking CAP.

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