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Wednesday, September 07, 2016

What You Need To Know About Love And Lust In Relationships

Written by: Mayowa Adeniyi                                      |Edit Article

"Lust is an enemy to the purse, a foe to the person, a canker to the mind, a corrosive to the conscience, a weakness of the wit, a besotter of the senses, and finally, a mortal bane to all the body." - Pliny the Elder
There’s just only a thing line between lies and truth, life and death, good and bad and likewise between love and lust. Quite a lot of people who don’t know this felt they’re practicing the right thing in their relationships, perhaps, they have crossed over to the path of lust.

Relationship, whether friendship or marriage thrives either on the basis of love or it’s ruined by lust. Many who claim to be in love actually do not know what love is all about. I know you have heard or learnt so much about love but little concerning lust.
It’s possible to be in a relationship and claim to be in love while of a truth you’re in lust.

What is love? What’s lust?
Everyone has a definition for love even those who have had failed relationships will have something to tell you about love. Love isn’t a feeling, feelings don’t last; love isn’t about emotions, emotions could change; love isn’t conditional; there might be unfavorable conditions. 

But love can simply be defined as captured in
John 3:16 (For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son)...You and I did nothing to deserve His love but He gave (sacrifice) His son… that whosoever believes in Him wouldn’t perish but have everlasting life” – a commitment to making your life better. Isn’t that great? The summary of love is responsibility – sacrifice and commitment.

Lust on the other hand, is a thought or a strong feeling you conceive to do something ungodly, immoral or unrighteous, having initiated it, it led you to sin and after the sin, death (James 1:15)..Death isn’t just about the physical cessation of life, it’s the destruction of lives and destinies or a separation from God, as it was with Adam and Eve.

Now that you’ve known both, what are these differences, I mean their contrasting features between love and lust?

1. Lust is ignited with the flames of sexual passion and dies as soon as it burns but love grows and becomes a great fire that’s difficult to put off.

2. Lust is conditioned to a particular object in the life of whom it adores. But love is unconditional. For instance, a man may ‘love’ a lady because of her physical appearance or because he wants sex. Similarly, a lady could love a man because of sex or the money she gets from him.

3. Love needs a fertile ground to grow. Not all soil are suitable for its growth but lust can grow anywhere and anytime because it lacks depth. You can’t love the wrong person and you’d expect to enjoy what love is all about. But you can be in lust with the wrong person as soon as the lust is maintained.

4. When lust talk, it focuses on sensuality, carnality and worldly passion. However, love grows, edifies and improves life.

5. Lust wants your body, it wants sex before or outside marriage and wouldn’t stay or be committed without having it. Love isn’t like that, it seeks to make your life better and wouldn’t violate God’s law concerning purity.

6. Lust can thrive for long but cannot sufficiently build a long-lasting relationship. However, love, true love is the best foundation for any successful relationship once it’s exclusively mutual.

7. Lust destroys lives, separates you from God and isolate you from friends. Oh, no, what a great dilemma is it to be in lust! Love makes life better, it makes you get closer to God and help you build meaningful relationship amongst friends, families and associates.

8. Lust makes you confused but love makes you assured. “I love him but he beats me”, “I love him, I don’t want to lose him but he’s harsh, rude, proud and so on”. “I just love her because she gives it to me”

9. Love makes you lose NOTHING even if the relationship doesn’t lead to marriage but lust make you lose SOMETHING or MANY THINGS.

10. Lust manipulates and also controls but love is gentle and kind.

11. Lust when practiced, takes you farther away from God because it doesn’t want to bring God into the equation but love since it originates from God will lead you closer to Him.

12. Lust does all the likes of kissing, petting, bear hugging, caressing, erotic conversations, premarital sex, extramarital sex and so on in the relationship with the consequences of abortion, unwanted pregnancy, unprepared parenthood etc. 

But love makes the vow to remain sexually pure and will never put your life in a disadvantaged situation. When you’re in a relationship and love is genuinely expressed from one end but lust is expressed from the other end, such a relationship cannot work. Test that love to know if it’s not lust lest you expose your life to the consequences it brings.

Remember, IT IS NOT LOVE IF IT DOES NOT MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER.

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