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Saturday, April 09, 2016


Whom shall i marry

The Educative Guild for every Bachelor and Spinster.


Every day we make choices. Will I get up at 7 or 8? Will I visit my friend or sit and read the newspaper? Will I eat rice or beans or just sweet potatoes? Our day is filled with simply hundreds of such decisions. Most of them are small and not very important.
But there are also bigger choices. Will I try for this job or that job? Will I buy a motor cycle or try to be patient and wait until I have enough money to buy a car? Will I rent a house or try to build one for myself?
But, of all the choices that I am called to make, there are few bigger than my choice of whom I will marry. It is a choice most people make only once in their lifetime. It is a choice that I will live with every day for perhaps the next ten, twenty or even forty years. It is a choice which will mean very great changes in every part of my life: in my habits, my way of doing things, my way of seeing things, etc. Yes, it is a big, big decision.
People like you make decision everyday. For some it is the right one. But for many it seems to be the wrong one. Why do people marry certain people, you may wonder. Often we hear people say: “Why did Mary marry that man?” or “What does he see in her?” etc.

For some it was physical beauty or intellectual ability or the kind of person he or she is. Very often it is a coming together – a combination – of many things.
The “Why” we often cannot explain – not even the two people who married are sure of the answer. A proverb describes marriage as “a covered dish” and another tells us that “marriages are made in heaven”. Both these sayings emphasize the seeming blindness of choice and the uncertainty of how a marriage will turn out.
But all is not as blind as that about marriage. Inside of me already there is much that can help me choose well. We call it common sense or intelligence. And I have another important thing – I have time. It is amazing how many people rush into marriage with little thought or without themselves time. We say: “Marry in haste, repent at leisure.” It is the decision of a lifetime so give yourself a chance to make the right one. Think about it, look at it, try to see it from every angle you can.

Once a young man went to his mother and told her that he wished to marry. His mother simply looked at him and then said: “Have you seen her mother yet?” “No,” answered the young man. “Well then, go to visit her, and remember, the girl you plan to marry will be like her in twenty years time. Then ask yourself today if you will still be able to love her as she will be then.”

Once a young man went to his mother and told her that he wished to marry

Seeing it from every angle means that you try to see the good points, the points that tell you that you will be happy together. But it also means looking at those points which you fear may bring unhappiness. It is no use sweeping them under the mat, pretending they are not there.
Since it is a decision of a lifetime, it is foolish to leave God out of it. This means prayer. Pray that you may see well, that you may see the strong points and the weak points. That you may see that other person with whom you are planning to share your life with and that you do not allow your understanding to be clouded with silly ideas which lead to make a wrong choice.
Having said that, can we point out some main points one should consider before rushing into marriage?


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